Reflection

This was really beginning to bother me . . . this thing of trying to tell stories in order and all of a sudden today it dawned on me. I don't have to tell anything in order. I only need to tell them in the order they come back to me. What a relief! Daily, sometimes hourly, I am reminded of something or someone by the smallest things. I have a notebook that I write notes in because if I don't write a portion of it down at the time, it may not come back. It's related to something specific at that time and when it passes . . . let me just say, "What did you eat for supper night before last?" It's hard! There is an East Tennessee expression that goes like this, "Don't ask me, I've slept since then." That's a good one you can use!

One day I had to pull off the Interstate and run in a gas station to buy a spiral pad to jot down some notes. The situation had to do with the traffic I was in and someones behavior. I haven't written it, but I have the notes. It was such a good lesson and I was afraid when I arrived at my destination, I'd get out of the car start talking to Mama and my sisters and it would never come back to me. Now, I keep a little spiral pad (like my Grandma Naomi did) in my purse. It's also good to have in your purse for grandchildren to doodle on in church or if they need to get rid of their gum!

It might be something someone says, something I see, hear, smell, you know about my senses, and I get a flashback. It is so real, I just stop in my tracks. I know I must have this far off look on my face sometimes. I don't realize it until I'm passing someone I don't know in a car and they smile. I realize I was smiling at them. It's a good habit to develop anyway. Sometimes I'm smiling in the car because I'm singing or listening to music. I like the same music Daddy did and with satellite radio, I can listen to it. Many times I can just hear Daddy's voice and visualize him in the kitchen, cleaned up and spit shined after work, piddling with what's on the stove. He liked to be in the kitchen and he'd add a pinch of this or that while he was singing or whistling along to his country tunes.

Recently a lady at the grocery store stopped me and said, "You must be the happiest woman in this town. You are always humming or smiling." I thought, "Ha, did I just fool her. I wasn't even in the grocery store!" I knew the lady, and I know she has a lot of difficult things going on in her life and I do too. Neither one of us really felt like smiling, but I wasn't in my present circumstances at that moment. I was reflecting. Maybe that memory was good for both of us.

You know I really was in the grocery store . . . right? At least my body and my checkbook were! I came home and looked up the word reflection. Webster's says it is careful thought, especially the process of reconsidering previous actions, events, or decisions; the image of somebody or something that appears in a reflective surface.

I mentioned Grandma Naomi earlier, and remembered you haven't met her yet. What an amazing woman! If anyone in our family would have had the vision to market Naomi, there would have been no need for a Martha Stewart! Seriously, I wish I had told my grandmother I hoped to grow up and be just like her. Boy, would my husband ever love that! We took her incredible talents for granted and she just thought she was doing her job as a homemaker, and she loved it! I may get to her next, if it comes back.

Anyway Grandma Naomi and Poppa lived on a different farm. They had a creek on their farm . . . well they had a lot of them, but this one was as far as we were allowed to go. From the kitchen door she could still see us and we could hear her call "Yoo-hoo, children get in here!" I wish you could hear her. Words don't do her justice. It sounded like some kind of tribal war call!

In that creek, you could see your reflection so clearly. You could see critters in the water, but you could also see your reflection. We would play down there for the longest time. Kids today would be so bored. They can't stand quiet. You could watch the clouds roll by. We loved it. We were young and innocent and the reflection was like daydreaming.

Now the reflection is about what has been. Some good, some not so good, but worth the trip!